Monday, January 19, 2009

Cafeteria Lady's Revenge

When I got home, the Boyz were standing with their cheeks sucked in, as Mr. Fry says, which means they had eaten all their hay. I went over to say hello to Poco and he put his ears back and turned away. I made him leave, but he only walked a few steps and turned his butt me. I growled and herded him down toward the dry creek bed.

I tossed 3 piles of 2 flakes each. Poco ran Jaz off any pile poor Jaz chose. I ran Poco off again, but no sooner had I turned to walk away, and he was right back at it. I ran him off yet again.
Piss me off, why don't you, you snotty pony?

As I prepared their buckets, I had a wicked idea. Poco had already "assumed the position" in the loafing shed, waiting for the cafeteria lady to deliver.
I set his bucket inside the back door. I made a big fuss about giving Jaz his food, and I stood right beside him with my back to Poco, so he could eat his dinner in peace.

I wish you all could have seen the drama queen carry on! He paced, he tossed his head. He stood and stared at the food pan. "Surely there must be some mistake!" Numb nuts even tried to challenge me for Jaz's food. Oh, I don't think so. I would have tossed the bucket at him, but I was between them in the loafing shed, and had I thrown it, they both would have bolted. When Jaz was all done, I went inside and got Poco's bucket and stood on the porch with it until his demeanor was respectful. Then and only then did he get his food.

There are days when I wonder why I love that fat-assed, muley headed, couldn't-have-been-gelded-soon-enough JERK so much.


Anonymous said...

Ooh, you handled that well! I hate it when any of mine get food rude. They have finally figured out if they even WIGGLE one ear backwards I walk right back out of the paddock with the feed bucket and they get nothing. Each now stands nicely in front of their own empty food tub and waits until I dump feed. I allow no pushing, no nosing, no ear laying, nothing.

I'm surprised Poco was able to keep poor Jaz off three piles of hay. Can you spread them out further, maybe one flake per pile? I'm guessing he won't share with Jaz at all? The two of mine who eat in the same paddock used to chase each other around trying to steal the other's hay. They finally gave up and both work on one pile together before moving to the next one.

Horses are so silly.

ezra_pandora said...

lol!! My mare picked up a nasty kicking/digging habit while waiting for her food. She found out if she did that, people would feed her faster and first so she'd stop. Well, at our new barn, she now gets fed last because of that and she has to back away from her corner feeder if she wants her feed because the b.o. doesn't put up with any crap. She's quieted down a wee bit on that nasty habit. Your crazy boys. You HAVE to love them, they are too cute not too :)

Leah Fry said...

He's not like this all the time. I'm telling you, if there's equine bi-polar disorder, he has it. I always have to be assertive, but 2-3 times a year he gets a little too big for his britches. Although he always dominates Jaz, he turns bully during those times.

LOL, I had the talk with him — I'm the boss, not you. I decide who eats, when and how much, not you. When I fed him tonight, he was sweet and playful.

Jaz got hay, he just had to keep traveling for it. Most of the time, Poco will still sample each pile, but not to the point where he keeps Jaz moving. Jaz's hay belly is too big to be too pathetic!

Laughing Orca Ranch said...

ROFLMO!! Girl you totally cracked me up with this post. Lunch lady's revenge indeed. Poco's gonna learn some respect and not to mess with the lunch lady anymore. hehe

Good for you!

jane augenstein said...

Great post!!! My horse will get a little pushy with me at times so out comes the stick and string and he will be more humble. He is great about sharing his food though. Little Pokey can come up and get right into his food and he just moves over. I think that's strange for a horse that was starved to share his food, he would even share with the cows when we had them!
But horses do need to know that WE are the boss, at all times. Loved the post!! :-)

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