Thanks to all who left such kind, supportive comments on my last post. I reread them several times in the first couple days when I needed a lift.
Coming to the decision to put Poco up for sale was a lot harder and more stressful than actually following through with it, although I honestly had no idea it was going to work out the way it did. Since he had already been up there for several weeks, I did not have the trauma of having to gather his stuff, load him up, and either drop him off or kiss him good-bye before he was whisked off. I left my phone at Iron Ridge on Sunday, so had to go up there Monday after work to fetch it. I thought I might get weepy seeing him, but I didn't. I'm so used to having my horses up there, some of theirs down here, etc., that it felt pretty normal to me. He was every bit the suck-up cookie monster he always is, so it all felt the same. He's not really gone, and that does make a big difference. No tears.
You know how some people are suited to the rigid structure of military life? That describes Poco's need for the more structured routine at Iron Ridge. He needs to be accountable every minute. Heather's been purposely controlling with whom he gets to share a paddock to make sure he's kept in his place. He may not like it, but it's what's best for him.
There are no hard feelings. Poco and I are even. We learned a lot from each other and are now on to the next and best place for us. I don’t have the ability to take him further and he doesn’t have the temperament to take me further. It’s like any relationship that’s run its course. Time to move on. No hard feelings at all.
The truth is, I feel more optimistic about my horse experience than I have in a long time. There was always a certain amount of feeling obligated to ride Poco. I knew that the longer I procrastinated, the worse it would be. When I rode him, it was all about attempting to maintain control and not eat dirt. I can hardly wait for the weekend to ride. Jaz will help me become a better rider, and when I'm ready, he'll step us up to the next level, and we'll have fun doing it. I'm excited again!
I will always love my Wildman Rockstar, but I am done with bad boys of any species.